I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
