Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
