This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
