Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
