she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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