I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think people are normalizing furries
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
