i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
