Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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