just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
