so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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