Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
