Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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