I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
