3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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