Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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