i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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