ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
