You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
