oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize