He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
