Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
