i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
