its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
