i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
