But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
