my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
