I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize