How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
