I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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