I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
