Your dad touched me again.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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