It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
