She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
