I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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