just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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