He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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