There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
