He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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