Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
