I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
this boner is exhausting
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
