either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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