you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
