Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
