no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
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