Someone shit on the floor
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
