Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Randomize
