dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
