either way he was missing a nipple.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize