69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
