Christians are straight up FREAKS
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
