tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
