everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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