I forgot how hot balto sounded
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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