I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My vagina just clenched in fear
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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