Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
