got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
