therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
please come you make the beer taste better
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
