I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Fuck appropriateness.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
