The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
