When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
