Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
