Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
PS: I just woke up from my shower
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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